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Thursday, July 31, 2003

Rob Andrews has Infected my Brain

Last night I had a dream that I was going back to the newly rebuilt High School, except it was in Vancouver instead of Fort St. John. It was rainy outside and I was on a street that looked like Hastings and Cambie by the Dominion Bldg. except that there was more neon lights and windowed shops stretching into the distance. The rain was pouring, it was dark as night (it may have been night) and I found myself at the school's entrance. A kind of futuristic blue, grey and white building with rounded edges on everything. I was extremely late for my french class. I didn't care, but figured I should go even though I knew I had already completed high school once. I was more interested in prolonging my time spent with my girlfriend Michelle than with going to class. Eventually I climbed up into the door. (Like a treehouse you had to jump up to the doorway and pull yourself in.) The room had the typical white walls and green carpet and green chalkboards of my youth. It was bright and well lit. I sat down at my desk and pulled some books out of my bag. The room was filled with my old classmates from french class; Dustin, Tyrell, Ashley, Jasta and such. I felt like I wanted to catch up with them, but didn't bother to do so. I looked ahead and our teacher was Warren Ellis. He was speaking in English even though it was french class, and I remember being engrossed with what he was saying, although I remember none of it now.

I can't believe I had a dream with Warren Ellis in it. Rob, you have infected my mind.

Monday, July 28, 2003

Artist of the Day
BOB HOPE
May 29, 1903 - July 27, 2003



One of the funniest people. Ever. Rest in peace, Bob. Or as your theme song goes, Thanks for the Memories.

COW-TIPPING: a How-To Guide

JU-ON!

It's supposed to be scarier than The Ring, and the trailer alone is one of the creepiest things I've seen, so enter and click the fourth link on the top to get to the trailers. Lions Gate has apparently picked up the rights to this, its upcoming sequel, and the two TV movies that came before it, in March of this year. Hopefully we'll finally see a version with English subtitles.

Reviews here, and here.

Official SEQUEL site here.

"'Ju-On' is one of the most frightening films I’ve ever seen. Shimizu has crafted some of the most unique on-screen scares. He is relentless in his delivery, leaving you no time to catch your breath."
- Sam Raimi

Sunday, July 27, 2003

MIRAMAX MAKING BETTY & VERONICA MOVIE(s)

26, 192 people have signed an online petition to get Star Wars Kid a bit part in the next Star Wars movie.

RETRO CRUSH
bad girl movie posters



and visit the Main Site to view among other wonderful things, MR. T's WORLD OF ILLUSION!

Thursday, July 24, 2003

In regards to the Hashin Tigers post by Dark Minister Mike



- Nintendo announced they are planning to release a new Hanshin Tigers Victory Commemoration 2003 version of GameCube in Japan this fall, for 27,700 yen. The system will only release if the Hanshin Tigers becomes the champion of the J. League baseball league 2003, the question mark logo on concept images below will be replaced by the "victory memorial logo", which is currently unknown.

Sourced from Gamecube Europe

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

Artist of the Day


Don McKeller


Within the inner ciricles of the Canadian film scene (all two regions of it) Don McKellar is probably the only real "Canadian" celebrity, just under Rick Mercer and Paul Gross. Not to be confused with Ian McKellan, I have to say that this is one of the best Canadian actors we have, and to tell the truth that isn't saying much considering the crop of Canadian celebrities consist more of MM VJs, newscasters, Red Cgreen, Tom Green and most importantly, politicians.

The thing is you may already have seen this guy before, if you take a look at his filmography. Most notably was eXistenZ, the oft Canadian produciton Art of Woo and the most notably by who actually seen it, waydowntown. For me the production that I actually remember him from are Twitch City, waydowntown and Elimination Dance a clever little short that I hope to send to my friends someday.

But basically there isn't nothing incredibly great about this person save for the fact that he's almost like a Canadian Christopher Walken...well not even that. He can play the average schmoe, but often when you look at this guy with a permanent stubble, oft fuzzball hair and long face, you can't but help think that this person is a shoeing for psychotic or depressed typecasting. And to some degree that is the magic in who Don McKellar is, this person who is basically one of our only genuine celebrities that hasn't been pawned off as a "CBC" only personality nor some stupid little Canadian Connection quiz question for people starving to find Canadian identity. He's our own diamond in the ruff and if he were to have his own show, I would much rather hear him on CBC Radio than on CBC TV....no...not really. TV it is.

But hey, if you do what he does below...

Then you might be remotely famous in inner circles.

Monday, July 21, 2003

MARK MILLER and ASHLEY WOOD TEAM UP for Image One-Shot entitled Run! It promises a very new look at super speed. After that comes Pow! with John Cassaday, and then two more, one of which is with Frank Quitely.

From Dark Horse will come Miller's mini-series Chosen which deals with a young boy who finds out he's the second coming of Jesus Christ.

Click the link to find out what else Miller has planned for this year.

FUNNY ON-LINE STRIP! Read:

DIESEL SWEETIES!

Sunday, July 20, 2003

More evidence that Vietnam is dangerously sexually repressed.

Magazine Suspended for Nude Statue Cover

A communist student magazine in Vietnam which featured statues of a naked couple on the cover of a recent issue has been suspended for three months for inflaming sexual passions, a government official said on Friday.

French are Becoming Retarded; Ban Use of Word Email

The French government has banned the use of the word 'email' in all its ministries, documents, publications and websites.
In the latest step to stem an incursion of English words into the French language, the Culture Ministry says the term should be replaced with 'courriel'.


The French don't seem to realize the enormous amount of French derived words that we have in the English language. everything from rendezvous to pot-pourie has roots in their language, yet they refuse to ever go forward. They're so obsessed with keeping their culture intact that they're not letting it grow. What would've happened if thousands of years ago some group of people said "Hey, let's not let Latin influence our language, its not in keeping with our culture."

Stan Lee is becoming a very dirty old man...

STAN LEE & HUGH HEFNER TEAM-UP!

First Striperella, and now Hugh Hefner is to star as a cartoon superhero fighting evil alongside a bevy of Bunnygirls.

Those Wacky Japanese



Japan's Hanshin Tigers baseball team is on a rare winning streak. It may have something to do with their newly designed bra.

This is just for you Rob. Enjoy.

The Joy of Spex

girls. glasses. amen.

Visit The COLD WAR CIVIL DEFENSE MUSEUM




This virtual museum is dedicated to the civil defense and emergency workers of the United States who worked throughout the Cold War to try to protect the public from nuclear attack.

Apparently people have been having sex and making pornography since the 1870's and earlier. Crazy eh? Well, now you can view a photographic record of sex from the 1870's to the 1970's. (If you're over 18) Go view the --

PORN EVOLUTION



An orgy, circa 1870-1900

Friday, July 18, 2003

Blow it Out Your Ass



Jasmin St. Claire demonstrates her ability to shoot flames from her asshole.

More in LINK.

Drug-Crazed Man Makes Meal of Penis

A Malaysian man sliced off his own penis, then fried and ate it after taking hallucinatory pills that caused him to hear voices urging him to mutilate himself.

Thursday, July 17, 2003

cut off your testacles and do the dance of tea leaves, for it's

EMMY TIME!


God help us all...

I can't believe this fucking thing exists. Every single year its the exact same nominees. West Wing, Sopranos, Everybody Loves Raymond, Frasier, Will & Grace, Friends, Sex & the City, and they appear to be indoctrinating The Shield lately too. Sopranos, yes, its good... everything else, may have their moments... But they're not FUNNY. They're not ENGAGING, they're not even all that GOOD. Some of these just plain suck a crab-sized wad of horse semen. (In the case of Will & Grace that's both figurative AND literal.)

I find it odd also that Outstanding Animated Program (For Programming One Hour Or More) has no competition. Literally. Only one thing was nominated. Whooooo's gonna win?! The suspense is killing me!

Outstanding Art Direction for a Multi-Camera Series is a fucking FARSE. Yeah, it takes a lot of work to shoot the same living rooms over and over again for 8 years. I can see how that would be hard to not screw up.

Now nothing is so funny on this list as Oustanding Art Direction For A Variety Or Music Program. Because its basically giving awards to AWARD shows. Like we don't have enough shit like this already.

Final thoughts are, I hope Futurama wins the animated category just to show Fox what shithead morons they are... AGAIN... for cancelling an Emmy winning show the year it wins the Emmy... AGAIN. Also I'm rooting for Curb your Enthusiasm and 24. But I'm torn on the category with the Daily Show and Conan O'Brien competing. Damn that's tough... probly go Daily Show in recognition of Bush vs. Bush.

Vietnam Bans Ads for Tampons, Condoms and Toilet Paper

The ban applies to TV and radio commercials, poster advertising and advertising at concerts and events.
Posters advertising a brand of sanitary towel that had been put up close to a temple were recently removed after being deemed "too immoral".

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Monday, July 14, 2003

THE MATRIX LIKE YOU'VE NEVER SEEN IT!! click here then hit play!

I'm stealing a lot from Ananova.com today...

Archaeologists Find 25,000-Year-Old Human Bones

Archaeologists have discovered the bones of a human who lived 25,000 years ago, in a cave on the outskirts of Beijing.

The bones were found in the village of Zhoukoudian near the site where the Peking Man fossils were discovered.

China is Fucked Up
__________________

Live Worm Found in Man's Brain During Surgery

A live nine-centimetre-long worm has been found inside a man's brain during surgery in China.

School Bans Farting in Public

A Chinese school has introduced a new rule to ban pupils from farting in public.
Children caught breaking wind at Hu Zhuang Elementary School in Beijing are fined about 50p.

Zhang, a school teacher, said: " We use the regulation to help students get rid of their bad habits. And nobody has been fined so far."


Cosmetic Surgery is Teenagers' Reward for Passing Exams

Chinese teenagers are being given cosmetic surgery by their parents as a reward for their hard work in school.
Three hospitals in Guangzhou reported that 90% of their plastic surgery patients were middle school graduates.

OLDEST KNOWN PLANET IDENTIFIED


NASA's Hubble Space Telescope precisely measured the mass of the oldest known planet in our Milky Way galaxy. At an estimated age of 13 billion years, the planet is more than twice as old as Earth’s 4.5 billion years.


More here.

Friday, July 11, 2003


A thread to a msg board I usually visit. The official 'The "Japanese are Totally Insane" Thread '.
Apparently a lot of Japanese dress up their rigs. It's all the rave!


One of the coolest fucking commercials ever with Ewan McGregor!!!


Click here to access the website where Western Celebrities do Japanese commercials!



There once was a man his name was Jed,
The actor who played him, is now dead.....

Rest in peace Buddy.

Thursday, July 10, 2003


No droids here sir.

ANTI-GRAVITY IS HERE!

The fantastic floating device called a lifter has no moving parts, no onboard fuel, and no shortage of wide-eyed admirers. Even inside NASA.

Info here and here.

Wednesday, July 09, 2003



news bit on aintitcool.com

The CAFFEINE FAQ

White House 'Warned Over Iraq Claim'

The CIA warned the US Government that claims about Iraq's nuclear ambitions were not true months before President Bush used them to make his case for war, the BBC has learned.

STONEHENGE IS A BIG OL' VAGINA!




Stonehenge is a massive fertility symbol, according to Canadian researchers who believe they have finally cracked the mystery of the ancient monument in southern England. In the arrangement of the stones, the researchers say they have spotted the original design: female genitalia.
More in link.

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

While we are on the topic of it:

Sourced from the Urban Dictionary

chach "ch-a ch"

anything u want it to be

i love the chach.
dude i stepped in some fucking chach.
that guy has a big chach.
look at that fucking chach passing by

Recommend for deletion

Source: crystal
5/27/03 06:39:35 PM

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
chach "ch-a ch"

cocaine

Last nite I ripped chach.

Recommend for deletion


Matrix PING PONG. Click to see the video NOW.


(Notice how I didn't even try to make the picture look good?)

AND

FUCK 2D PONG, GO 3D BABYEEEEEE!!!

One Tired Guy






Check out this trailer for some fan-fucking-tastic unicycle stunts. Its only 56 seconds so just go already, don't pretend like you've got something better to do.

Monday, July 07, 2003


Guess the hackers didn't do so well afterall.

Go watch the banned trailer and attached clips for KEN PARK now.

I mean it.



It's unfortunate it'll never ever play here, due to its graphic nature. Fuck censorship and fuck right-thinking namby pamby's with their ability to watch simulations of people rendered assunder, splattering blood and entrails all over a cinema screen under an R rating, but who can't stomach any kind of sexual depiction in a mass market. Fuck those who think its more natural to sit and cheer death and beheadings and murder and genocide, but who would ban a film because it has sex. A thing all humans were meant to do. All non-asexual creatures were meant to do. And lastly, FUCK the Australian Police.

Sunday, July 06, 2003


Might as well just be forward. How much semen have *you* ejaculated out? (Rough estimate)


A somewhat interesting interpretation of the Matrix Reloaded.

Saturday, July 05, 2003


We kick ass.....FOR THE LORD!


Jesus sport statues...is there anything He 'can't' do?

Oh yes...also taken from the site:

Many customers have requested these Jesus Sport Statues depicting children other than Caucasian and playing other sports; we have expressed these requests to manufacturers and importers. When and if other statues are available, CatholicShopper.com will carry them.

Friday, July 04, 2003

A short film that time forgot... or, more likely, never knew existed.

COWBOY JESUS!



starring a black woman (who played the first Slayer in Buffy the Vampire Slayer) as Cowboy Jesus, and Hooper X from Kevin Smith's Chasing Amy as Disciple #2

Thursday, July 03, 2003




Thanks for letting me post my spam here.
I've created a poll on my website. Go ahead and vote. I dare ya!



Chretien rules


Worldwide Hacker Contest warned to the world.

Bill Jemas, president of Marvel Comics, is the biggest fucking moron God ever shat into a 3 piece suit.



...except for Bush...

Wednesday, July 02, 2003


For you non-Skateboarders and non-THPS3 (Tony Hawk Pro-Skater 3) players, possibly one of the sickest tricks every pulled on ground.